voice note from the world's biggest loser

thanks, ADHD.

3 things I ordinarily loathe: public self-flagellation for clicks, taking oneself too seriously, and disclaimers. Here’s all three lol.

 *recorded the voice note in my bathroom, then moved into my bedroom, that’s why the sound changes. Transcript below!

“Today feels like one of those epiphanies where I am just feeling... like the world's biggest loser, like the world's shittiest friend, the world's shittiest wife, world's shittiest content creator, business owner, sister, daughter, aunt, friend, all the things. I just feel like I am falling short in everything.

And normally I feel pretty good at understanding that my brain is just wired differently.

And at the same time, that doesn't relieve me of the responsibility of the roles that I've accepted in my life.

I'm thinking about one of my best friends who I wanna be in her life so much, but I'm so easily overwhelmed by everything that I don't text her back, and I feel her slipping away.

I think about my sister if things don't change, her boys are gonna grow up knowing they have an aunt, but like not really knowing her.

And then my husband, whom I love so much, who has been so good to me, so patient, so supportive, so everything. But every day I feel the weight of ways that I am failing him as a wife. and it's hard to feel like I'm always gonna struggle with this.

I don't wanna use 'Oh, I have ADHD' as a crutch.

But I do feel like it just reaches its grubby little hands into every area of my life, and some days it just really sucks.

I think ultimately, you need these painful days to recognize that there are things that need to be fixed.

But I am not gonna lie, I just feel probably the most lost I have ever felt, in damn near every area. And when it's like that, where do you even begin?

I don't know.”